Cancer Awareness

Hey people! How yall doing??? Hope youve been good and doing what you do best, wether its studying, dancing, singing, directing, acting, serial killing... maybe not on that last one, hehe. . .. Its been a couple of weeks since I posted. Im doing good since my Last post, 

October is cancer awareness month and keeping that in mind, most of my activities Ive been Involed in are awareness oriented. Ive been rehearsing for a Cancer awareness play for the last two weeks with Dove arts and well show it to you guys next weekend at yet to be released locations but around Nairobi. Keep posted to my facebook wall for more updates.

MY dear Mother has also been busy with cancer themes in mind. She is one of the main event organisers for a cancer walk and screening taking place this weekend on saturday and sunday at Queen of Apostoles Ruaraka. Ive taken the liberty to dedicate this post to her event. And this is most likely the last time pink is going to appear on this blog. Read on.  . .

 

 

Cancer Walk Day - On 27th Oct 2012

Cancer Screening Day - On 28th Oct 2012

Cancer Screening Day - On 28th Oct 2012

The Cancer Walk and the Screening Event is a day that will be packed with lots of activities for a noble cause. On 27th October 2012, we shall conduct a Cancer Awareness Walk from the Queens of Apostles Church compound and along the Superhighway. The Walk shall start 7.00am to 11.00am. Members from the Young Professionals and the Youth of the church and members of the community are expected to participate in the walk. This shall raise funds towards eradicating the menace as well as looking forward to open a Counseling centre along the Super Highway. Interested sponsors who would like to participate in this noble cause are cordially invited.

On the following day the 28th October2012, we shall now have the Screening day. We have invited about 30 Medical Practitioners volunteering from hospitals in Nairobi who will be conducting the exercise, as well as cancer survivors in the locality who will show case their survival tactics. This is based on the fact that we want to make it bigger and better to include the following activities but not limited to:

1. Cancer and other diseases testing
2. Paps Smear
3. Screening and Counseling of Breast Cancer and Prostate
4. Blood Pressure
5. Diabetes Testing
6. Body Mass Index, (BMI)
7. Dental and Eye conditions
8. HIV/AIDS testing and counseling
9. Health and Nutrition talks on management of terminal and lifestyle diseases
10. Blood donation exercises among others

 

How to Assist Through Sponsorship

There are three categories of Sponsorship

Platinum
Gold
Silver

Platinum Category

Platinum class sponsors will have status as main official sponsors of the Cancer Walk. In addition to being the main official sponsors of the event, the following will be added:

• The sponsor will be mentioned at the opening, during the event and at the close of the event.
• The main sponsor will get to display his banner and even set up a tent to showcase his products and services in form of promotional material (i.e. flyers, leaflets, brochures, booklets)
• The main sponsor will also get a chance to give a 15 minute speech
• The main sponsor will also get a chance to put up 3 own banners in the venue.

Gold Category

In this category the sponsor will enjoy the following benefits:

• Get mentioned at the opening and closing of the event.
• Get to put up 2 own banners and also get the opportunity to set up a tent to show case their products
• Get a chance to give a 10 minute speech.

Silver Category

In this category the sponsor will enjoy the following:

• Get mentioned at the beginning and the closing of the event
• Get to set up one banner at the event
• Set up a tent to show case their products and distribute their promotional literature ie flyers ,brochures etc

Comparison table

Action	Platinum	Gold	Silver
Status: Main Official Sponsor	Yes	No	No
Speech	Yes(15 mins)	Yes(10 mins)	No
Main Banner	Yes	No	No
Own Banner	Yes (3 Banners)	Yes (2 banners)	Yes (1 Banner)
Tent & promotional material	Yes	Yes	Yes

Sponsorship Table

Category	Sponsorship (in Ksh)
	Max	Min
Platinum	500,000	250,000
Gold	250,000	100,000
Silver	100,000	20,000

The main sponsor owns the right to direct the sponsorship to certain areas of the event. A detailed cost balance of the event will be sent on request. In order to secure the placement in this event, the deadline of 2 weeks ahead of the event should be strictly respected.

Your great co-operation in partnering with us on using making strides Against Cancer will be highly appreciated.

Sponsors.

Contact Us

Tumaini House 3rd floor suite 309
P.O. Box 906-00618
Nairobi, Kenya
Tel: +254 700 299 380
email: info@cackenya.org

References from.

 www.cackenya.org

Yours, In Health,

 Dean.

Film Review: Nairobi Half Life

Good Morning, afternoon, evening and Night, dear readers. How've you been? I hope ya'll been as I have. Good. Started classes and working on some projects, both in Acting and Writing.


 Today were focusing on a mombasa image as the starter pic. One of the most beautiful towns I have had the pleasure of visiting. To those coast peeps trying to protest, ati "Pwani si Kenya", don't you dare take mombasa, malindi, Diani, hell, all of it away from us. KDF just beat the Al-shabaab, let them come home and rest. Mombasa is very special to kenyans. A holidaying spot, second largest city and all... Its also one of the town's "Jack Zollo" "travelled to" in his "career" as a criminal. If you haven't read "My life In crime" so... no! I aint saying sorry for that. You shoud've read the biggest kenyan bestseller, besides the bible. Word.












 Last post, I'd mentioned that I was a fan of Nairobi Half Life, without and before watching it. So I decided
to make a plan, on a sunday afternoon, with dear mother, at westgate, to watch it. It was ... ... more on this later.... Then I happened to hear of the Kenya buzz competion on writing "Nairobi Half Life: Film review". I religiously wrote my own and its on the kenya buzz website, awaiting acceptance and I wait for that e-mail informing me of winning the competition. The  Reward is 1)the winning review to be printed onto the Star Newspaper and 2) 15,000 dol.... kenya shillings (almost got you there, hehe). Here is the link to the competition page,  /kenyabuzz.com/ but for the meantime, here is my review... Quote unquote.

 

Nairobi Half Life Review

Nairobi half life (2012) is an action flick commandeered by David 'Tosh' Gitonga, penned by Serah mwihaki, A collaboration of Ginger Ink Films and One fine day Films. A present day story of Mwas (Joseph Wairimu), an aspiring actor from 'mashambani' who dreams of becoming a spartan in the performers world. He's told that 'He's good' by an actor from a travelling theatre troupe, but his Achilles heel is "Ako ocha". He decides to travel to Nairobi, to put down roots in the acting world. His pursuit of his dreams coincidentally lands him in trouble, in the Central Police Station cages, where he meets Oti (Maina Olwenya), a cocky criminal cooling his heels in the cells. They strike a surprising partnership and once released, combine brains and brawn with the other gang members, Mose, Waf and Kyalo, to eke out a living in the criminal underworld. The story is chronological and set in the Kenyan Highlands, Nairobi city and suburban slums and estates in a community slightly above the poverty line.

 What hit me was the rawness of this film. The use of indigenous languages and dialects, Swahili, Kikuyu and Sheng' is exemplary. The director and cast give a bare knuckled tale of the Kenyan criminal underworld; the experiences, dreams and realities of its Inhabitants are not held back. Neither is the swearing and use of profane language when the need arises, always rising to the occasion; whether to avoid being under cut during "business" deals or friendly banter with the local corrupt officers. 

 Images of cramped 10" by 10" rooms shared by six people and those of closed corridors where commercial sex workers advertise and "sell" their wares, gay scenes to grand theft auto in the leafy suburbs make the story unique. The film scores are a combination of underground hiphop by Ukoo Flani "Halisi", Rap by P-unit "hodi hodi", Afro-electro-pop by Just a band "Hahe" and Original scores by Xavier von Treyer. "Live and die in eastleigh" is also played. "Hahe" by Just a band was the best placed of all, as they steal tyres from cars in the dead of night. The song plays, "Tuko works Mzeiya" as the cinema hall erupted in applause. Hmm, who knows, we may have more gangsters in Nairobi than we originally thought.
 
 

 











The use of locations and personalities familiar to the Kenyan and Nairobi population gives the film an authentic feel, a story told on the same streets and buildings we walk by daily. Settings like Sarova Stanley, Machakos bus station, Kenya Cinema, Pension towers, The Hilton Nairobi, Kenya National Theatre, Phoenix players theatre and the countless fries cafes in the Central business District. In addition Known actors such as Nini Wacera, Eddi Kimani, Ojiambo Ainea, Nancy Wanjiku, Gilbert Lukalia, Kenneth Gichoya considerably increase the familiarity.


The were three disappointing aspects of the film. The extras, over emphasization on poverty and the scenes in motion. The extra's were very plastic in their acting, as if they held their breath every time the camera focused in their direction. I very much doubt that they were actors, and am sure there are very many natural career extras in Kenya who would gladly show up for filming. Too much of anything is a bad thing, too much poverty is even worse. A few scenes of the highlife would have been highly appreciated, Tosh Gitonga. Moving scenes were poorly done, in no constant direction, haphazard.

The message of redemption, hope, is very strong throughout the film, only eclipsed by a feel good syndrome. Countless jokes are cracked during the film, from Mwas falling through the roof to making fun of Mose who aspires to "sing like kidum". The movie is uplifting and proves that in the midst of all the poverty and misery, a few laughs are possible.

 

 Personally, I loved the film, from the opening score to the credits. The directing was well done, Script was awesome the acting was superb ,especially Oti, who I suspect might be a gangster, night shift of course and Nini who might have had her phone stolen a couple of times too many. The editing was good, mirrored by the setting. Camera work was spectacular, especially the zooming in and out of crowds. Choreography of the fighting scene was we'll done, believable. Montage scenes were well executed. The message was very strong, and answers several important questions. So one question still stands...

"Have we really chosen to be who we are?"Written By: Dean Gichukie.












Below is one of my favourite images of a Nairobi Sunset. Glad I could share it with you. Courtesy of "Mutua Matheka photography"

Adios Amigos, 

Dean.

Artistically Yours.

Another Sunrise, Nairobi Style.

Greetings readers, how have ya'll been? Hope you've all been good. How was summer? Was good for me did a lot of stuff, was super busy and happy for the most part. Met lots of amazing peeps, Actors, actresses, Directors, Producers, name them...

Kudos to the 2000 plus readers from all over the world. The US of A is upping its game,(Y'all better vote for Obama, btw) Kenya holding it down as always, The French are showing some love, as is their nature, in conjuntion with the russians, lovers of vodka. Swiss are watching, checking their watches, Australians are drinking and toasting, and Canadians are traveling, Guns on the ready, but rarely used, unlike the Americans...

Artistically. Oxford dictionaries describes this as sensitive and appreciative to art and beauty. So thats what Ive been up to for the last six weeks. Appreciating the art and beauty that lies hidden in each and every one of us. Ive acting, writing, modelling (sorta), and directing is to come pretty soon. I am currently to begin my degree course at kenyatta University, B.A Film technology and Theater arts

I have always been a student of the arts. Since the first time I ever acted. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 12 years old, final year primary school. It was an English lesson, role playing. There was no script. I was to play a drunk irresponsible father who'd gotten home to his starving wife and children. was rather funny since I was supposedly drunk, and my wife was 4' inches taller than I. I could have been beaten up any time #nyeristyle but luckily it didn't happen. At the end, Id fallen in love with acting...

 Every professional actor needs a professional headshot and true to this, I had mine taken at Gash Studios, Bishan Plaza, Westlands. Booked by Gerald Langiri, the actor and administrator of kenyan acting information website  www.actors.co.ke , link provided. The shoot went well and yes here is the photo. Please note the stubble of hair in roughly the same region as where a beard ought to be., hehe..


If you are a Director, Producer,Writer, or Actor, looking for provision of acting and writing services and also  interested in an ally in the professional world of art, dont hesitate to contact me. Email me at   dennisvongichuki@gmail.com


I took an acting class three weeks ago, at Acting for Cinema training Workshop. Actors are the most interesting people alive. I mean, its our job to keep you interested, the same way its the DJ's job to keep you partying. So an acting class is the most interesting class ever. With desk mates like Faith Kybathy, Haroun Risa, transport by Molline 'Mololine' Dove and camera men like Erick Muriuki, what more could one ask for? It was hosted by Director Neil Schell and Actress Nini Wacera.Was a mind blowing experience. Neil has acted in movies such as A-team and watchmen and TV series like Fringe. Locally, he has Directed TV series such as Saints and higher Learning. And guess who is going to direct feature film My Life In Crime, the movie based on John Kiriamiti's book? No its not Christopher Nolan, Its Neil Schell. I am thoroughly convinced that done with Neil's level of perfection, This will be an Oscar winning Film. I am very intrested in providing acting services for My Life In Crime  Jack Zollo Is Back!!! 

L-R. Nini Wacera, Dean Gichukie, Neil Schell.

Chalk Graffiti in the Background done by Haroun Risa.

 
 Yesterday was the sixteenth anniversary of the death of Tupac Shakur, The greatest Rapper Ever. He achieved so much, at the age of 25. His music still resonates with todays generation 16 years later. And to celebrate his life and legacy, ill leave you with three photos to commemorate his life. The three are, in my consideration among his most powerful words. True, Life is a wheel of fortune, and Its my Turn to spin it. Wether were black or White, It doesn't matter. Coz were Human.

 I Attended a script writing symposium hosted by Dwayne Johnson Cochran, hollywood writer and Director, at the Kenya National theatre, Ukumbi Mdogo. Facilitators of the event were Hot sun Foundation represented by Pamela Collet and Kenya Film Commision. It was an eye opener, into this amazing industry, of telling stories. At The end of the day, after all the sweat and hard work, I'm doing one simple thing. Telling Stories.

Relaxing, on set. Lies that bind

Shooting on the set of 'lies that bind'. Was a rather interesting experience since it was my first time on set.Had a rather interesting role, that of a political goon. Okay, before you inform Mr Kibunjia that this writer is spreading hate speech, slow down, take a deep breath and let me explain. A political goon is one of those guys who storm the political meetings held by their employers opposition. In this case, it was a 'kina mama' harambee. I know, I'm not helping my case but I had a lot of fun considering its not everyday I get to storm meetings, hehe. Later I got the chance to network with my fellow actors and even took tea, provided by the above mentioned kina mama. Moral of the story, its never that serious.

The tana massacre has shocked each and every one of us. Tana river is gushing with blood. Over 100 killed in the most macarbe circumstances in three bouts of madness in one month. Children are among those killed, and their only crime' that took them to an early grave is being seen to be tomorrow's warriors. Also killed are hapless women and old men, entrapped in their homes by gun wielding raiders whose mission is to ring them in their homes  so that the hatchet mencan strike those fleeing their bursts of gunfire at the doorstep. Lets say a prayer, a silent one, that the bloodshed may cease.




Nairobi Half Life. The one Film that is changing the Kenyan Movie scene. The story of  Mwas (Joseph Wairimu) of A young aspiring actor from upcountry Kenya dreams of becoming a sucess in the big city. In pursuit of this and to the chagrin of his brother and parents, he makes his way to Nairobi, the city of opportunity. Veteran actors such as Nini Wacera, Mugambi Nthiga and Eddy Kimani rub shoulders with the new and equally talented Nancy Wanjiku and Wilfred Olwenya who plays Oti. Sadly, I have not (yet) watched the movie. But I have watched the trailer and bugged enough of my friends about it to consider myself a worthy fan.It won best actor award, for Joseph Wairimu's portrayal of Mwas, at the Dublin International Film Festival. Kudos to David 'Tosh' Gitonga, the director, and

TOOT THY OWN HORN

To all artists, to all achievers, and everyone who wants to build him/herself in this new age. You will get Fans, acquaintances, Worshipers, Admirers, stalkers, critics, haters, and all sort of personalities in this industry, some good, some bad. Some loyal, some evil. But you are not allowed to EVER, EVER   



                                                                 
                                                                  Have a lovely day. 

A film-able day.

Yours,
Dean Gichukie.

You Only Live Once

Child: Dad, when do I start getting an allowance...?
Grandpa: You want a what??? I ALLOW you to live under MY house, Eat my food, Breathe my air, I allow you to live!!! What more do you want... Ungrateful n*****
Son:.........

Only on boondocks, season 3...

Good morning readers. How you doing? Am good, hope you are too. No food poisoning, hangovers or beaten up faces? Good...

New readers from New Zealand, Canada, Philippines, Australia, Switzerland and Pakistan. And a very high Increase in Swiss, Latvia and USA views. Welcome one, welcome all. P.S Look for your country's flag among the below....

Last Weekend, but several... Had an amazing Friday. No classes at all so went with a couple of chics and dudes to Tric, hitting them X Box 360's all morning (the only way to play mortal kombat) took a quick lunch and sheeshad the afternoon away at zaytoons. To crown it all off, deejay-ed at a friends graduation party. Congrats Wahu! Proud of yew... Had an unforgettable time, which brings me to today topic...

                                                                

We only live once. That's easy to understand. Question is, was there any danger of people thinking otherwise? Life is short. Too short. Just a couple of years ago you were sucking on your thumb,the same size as a mature chicken and your whole vocabulary was "mama". I ain't kidding. 70 years, average lifespan, is not that long. Okay, so maybe it not that short either but you get my point. And so should Jay Z, rapping bout "forever young". I hope you're wiser now since you've got a 6 month old baby.


Like Drake rapped,

 "You only live once: that’s the motto nigga YOLO

We bout it every day, every day, every day

Like we sittin’ on the bench, nigga we don’t really play

Every day, every day, f-ck what anybody say

Can’t seem em cause the money in the way,

Real nigga wassup"

 Live a little. All men are alive, not all of them live. Why was man made? Not to procreate silly, but to enjoy Gods creations. X Box 360 may not be 100% "Made in heaven" but am sure at some point after toiling all day, The lord would have wanted us to relax, blow of steam (not really sheesha smoke but am diversifying). Cos life is tough, and if it wasn't, it wouldn't be worth living. Put in a different way...

Smart peeps recognize fellow smart peeps. The only ones ignored or irrelevant are those standing still their entire life. Life's too short...thinking and planning and thinking and planning, and thinking of planning, and planning on thinking, and thinking of doing something?...Just do it dammit! You'd rather live a life of "oh well's", "at least i know that cant work" ,than a life of "what if's". "Maybe" and the parents/teachers/lecturers favorite, "I WISH I KNEW."

So live your life, right now, cos tomorrow might , NO!, tomorrow WILL be too late...  





YOLO should be a motto, inscribed on everyone's forehead at birth, naturally of course. Imagine the agony of a baby being tattooed. And like every coin, (Even those huge Kibaki ones), YOLO has two sides...

• Side A. You have one life, so don't waste it living a life so boring It makes monks look like rave kings. Have fun, do dangerous stuff,  like bungee jumping or skydiving. Flirt, drink, if you want to smoke be my guest I aint telling you to, sleep around(am also not advising any one on that). Get a tattoo, of angel wings on tour back or a grasshopper on your arm, hehe. Do crazy stuff  for one reason and one reason only, that you want to. Rebel against normalcy every so often.Pump up your adrenaline, believe me, you'll know when your pumped...

• Side B.(This is the part where I sound like an old-fashioned parent). In the process of having fun, do not kill yourself. You do not stop living as a Nun on Thursday and on Friday you're jumping (read parachuting)off planes at 8000 feet, you will probably not make it to the ground. (Warning: If you shit yourself or mess up in the process of doing any of the above, do not refer to this blog as your advisor. I will deny to my last breath!)

May you do stuff with your life that you will be proud of when you're on your death bed and your family is around you (If youll have one) crying and you smile as you remember both the good and not so good times...
 
So here's a toast, to Life! To life,*clinking of glasses* , to Life. May we all never regret any decisions we make and live life to the fullest.YOLO! YOLO!! YOLO!!! YOLO!!! OK, you can stop saying YOLO now!

YOLO!YOLO! yolo!  yolo! YOLO! YOLO! yolo, yolo! STOP IT!!! YOLO! YOLO! yolo! yolo! YOLO!YOLO!

*Angel voice* Please dont say YOLO again, PLEASE DONT!!!
*Devil voice* Say it! Just one more time! Cmon!

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West        


Have An amazing week.

 Live life.

Yours,

Dean.

SPAIN V ITALY :THE AFTERMATH

Last night, Spain vs Italy. Final score, 4-0 to Spain. Was a good game. Spain played very well, perfectly. Every shot was calculated. Every pass counted, clinical precision. Defense was amazing. Balloteli couldn't get space to bendover and pull up his socks, let alone score a goal. Man of the match should have been Cassilas, (the only reason Italy dint win). Hes one of the best keepers in the world, and he proved it last night, though we really would have appreciated if you'd let one slip by....Anyway,as we all know, every good team has a but...

The Spain part of the game was boring!!! No hating, just the truth. So yeah, their game was picture perfect, big deal. And yes, the first goal was awesome, no competition. But it was one of the most uninteresting teams Ive ever watched. The passes were great, good for them. Thats just about it. There were no risks taken, no spectacular shots, no amazing on the ball moves(except when Fabregas made some defender dance back and forth like a puppet. Beautiful), no great tackles But for Italy, it was a different story...

The shots were amazing, breathtaking. The kind of shots that make your leg jump as if ur the one kicking(hitting yourself in the process, of course). And again cassilas stops it, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again(I could go on all day and night)... But to Italy's credit, Cassilas has not had those many shots on target in a single game for the whole tournament. I'm feeling sorry for those readers who aren't soccer fans, just bear with me. The way Italy played against Britain was amazing, but Its understandable if it doesn't happen twice... I have always believed that the only time a man should cry is 1.At his mothers funeral ,but I can add a number 2.When he loses an international final and isnt feeling very "manly"... Balloteli, this time your excused...

PREDICTION TIME: This is probably the last time that Spain are winning an international tournament. Unless they come to the African Cup of nations(where they'll win for 15 years straight), this is it. When Barcelona (The team, not the city, soccer haters) started winning, Spain followed suit very soon after. After barca lost the champions league, their reign ended and very soon, so will Spain. Looking at how Portugal rattled them in the semi finals, (I can just picture ronaldo rattling their hair off)this is the beginning of their end. Everyone will figure their passing... And I am not to be quoted in case I am wrong. Where I come from they don't teach "fortune teller" in the local polytechnic(though I doubt Id have studied it.) Superstition aint my thang...

 Barcelona was stopped when Chelsea discovered how to stop Messi,hehe...

Balloteli has come of age.When he scored those two goals against Germany cos his mother was in the crowd was a very big sign. A big loss like last nights will teach humility and the pressure of such a big game will build him up.Perfecto combination. All I can say is, Watch this guy...

Too many pics of men on the blog. For interests of massaging sore eyes,  Heres a little eye candy, Maybe a lot for yall, Here's Nickiiiiii Minaaaaj, hehe

 In other news, Yohan Blake beats Usain Bolt again in both the 100m and 200m. The worlds fastest man is second, twice in three days! We'll, bolt isn't 100% fit. Hopefully he will be in time for the Olympics. And unveil a new dance while he's at it. Maybe a chicken dance or something hehe,and get blake to do it too... This is going to be one interesting year...

Stay Fit.

Yours Truly

Dean

And Other Stories

Good Morning, Evening, Afternoon, Mid morning Reader. How you doing this cold Wednesday. Am good, You?

 Its been seven weeks, four days(Ive binn counting) since my last post. Miss me? No? Maybe then? Yeah... Missed the blog? Look at that smile,......;-), seems you did.













 I've traveled a lot, met lots of old friends, exes and old flings. Some are now more than just friends. Was having a great time, more on that in another post. But after large amounts of pressure by friends and readers, I had to post again. Thank you all for #InterruptingMyHoliday. My creative juices were frozen by the cold(Honest! You know I don't give excuses!) he-he, but lets try defrosting for the time being.

 Recently joined twitter. My user name is @vondeno

Kudos to the readers From Kenya,(Home is best) India, Nepal, Malaysia, Poland, South Africa, Germany, USA, United kingdom and many more... Come one, come all.

 If you don't understand Swahili that well, don't worry. I've got an English section just for you... Bellow the bullet-ed statements...

I was expecting a tough Spain Vs Italy Euro 2012 game on Sunday, and yes it was, with Balloteli Obviously Getting Carded... 1-1 was good for Italy, Very bad for Spain... Wonder which big game is next...

After that came XYZ season 6. Jeff Koinange aint that funny, but he tried. The other presenters are more than hilarious. To them, there is no MRC but theaz a Mombasa Raha Council...

On a sad note, Sunday Morning Prof George Saitoti and is assistant minister for internal security Joshua Ojode perished in a chopper accident in ngong hills with four others. May the lord bless their souls and rest in eternal peace. Among the witnesses were some prity unique characters, courtesy of  K.B.C...

•  Mr Politician. His "presentation" was something like this, My name is Mr so and so. I  am a local leader and potential candidate for the newly created seat by the IEBC of (certain constituency). It is with deep sorrow that we contemplate the passing away of the minister and his vice, both of whom are my mentors. I hope to continue the ministers good work in this region. If elected I will blah blah blah and blah blah to improve the live of my fellow constituents. My candidacy is under the newly formed blah party,... ... Seriously? Your politicking at a crime scene when the nation is watching you and 2 very prominent persons passed away hours ago? No wonder you wanna be a politician, Kenyan style...

• Miss Languages.She had an "Interesting" accent, the ones you can only find in Kenya( ask Eric omondi). In her own words, "Mimi nlikuwa dani ya churchi vile tulisikia dege. Tulikuwa tumesoea kila sunday ngege ingine ilikuwanga ikikuja, lakini leo tuli skisa na tukajua haikuwa hiyo. hiyo dege ilienda hii sydi, ikasimama ikaeda hii ingine na ikarudi tean. Alafu Ikaaza kutoa moshi. Sii tulishtuliwo na kishangao. Na vile tulikuwa tumesoea hiyo dege ingine ikikujanga kila sunday..." and many other subplots. Funny enough, at no point In her story did she mention the plane crashing...

•  Mr Weapons expert.. I was shocked at his words. Cos he seemed to be either a Rambo movie fanatic or a terrorist. Excerpts, "Vile hiyo dege ililipuka tukaanza kusikia ma risasi. Tukakimbia na tuka anza kuzichukua na kuziweka kwa mfuko. Niliwesa kuchukua Bullets 80. Hiyo dege ilikuwa imechomeka sana, hatukuwesa kukaribia sana. Na bado risasi silikuwa sikiruka. Aina ya berretta 38. Ile yenye inakuwanga automatic. Ina tupanga risasi 30 per minute. Sikiogopa. Kwa sababu watu wegine wangekuja na waanze kuziiba na wauzie al shabaab. Afadhali hivyo nilichukua. Apana siwezi uza, Niliwapea polisi wa AP post iliyokuwa karibu. mimi nilikuwa polisi mwala wa 1990 nika staafu... "   Thank God he was a cop. Otherwise he could have been hunted to death by Kenya police(and probably escaped)

Apologies to readers who dont understant swahili that well. I have a small section(not that small), for your enjoyment...


Did you know? If you search for 241543903 in Google images, you will find a lot of pictures of people putting their heads in refrigerators.

How school works:
In class: 2+2=4.
Homework: 2+4+2=8.

Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate
the Sun's mass.




A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed.
The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't! Ha ha

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Men don't Understand women. How could we, when we barely have any emotional baggage while theirs is... Just look at the pic and read the dictionary. The one below, of course
Female language dictionary
1. Yes = No
2. No = No
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = And you'll pay dearly
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

It amazing being a guy. I have lots of private reasons, and here are some of them...
Why its great to be a guy.
- The 3 P's. No pregnancy, Pads or periods.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You can be president.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

 - Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- At some point, guys will be fewer than girls
- Same work... more pay.
-  People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- Movie nudity is virtually always female.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- One mood, all the time.
- Someday you'll be a dirty old man

 There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"

 And finally...
Q: Why are hurricanes named after women?
A: Because when they come, they're
wild and wet, and when they go they take your house and car with them.

Im Out,

Your blessedly,

Dean.