Its been seven weeks, four days(Ive binn counting) since my last post. Miss me? No? Maybe then? Yeah... Missed the blog? Look at that smile,......;-), seems you did.
I've traveled a lot, met lots of old friends, exes and old flings. Some are now more than just friends. Was having a great time, more on that in another post. But after large amounts of pressure by friends and readers, I had to post again. Thank you all for #InterruptingMyHoliday. My creative juices were frozen by the cold(Honest! You know I don't give excuses!) he-he, but lets try defrosting for the time being.
Recently joined twitter. My user name is @vondeno
Kudos to the readers From Kenya,(Home is best) India, Nepal, Malaysia, Poland, South Africa, Germany, USA, United kingdom and many more... Come one, come all.
After that came XYZ season 6. Jeff Koinange aint that funny, but he tried. The other presenters are more than hilarious. To them, there is no MRC but theaz a Mombasa Raha Council...
- Mr Politician. His "presentation" was something like this, My name is Mr so and so. I am a local leader and potential candidate for the newly created seat by the IEBC of (certain constituency). It is with deep sorrow that we contemplate the passing away of the minister and his vice, both of whom are my mentors. I hope to continue the ministers good work in this region. If elected I will blah blah blah and blah blah to improve the live of my fellow constituents. My candidacy is under the newly formed blah party,... ... Seriously? Your politicking at a crime scene when the nation is watching you and 2 very prominent persons passed away hours ago? No wonder you wanna be a politician, Kenyan style...
- Miss Languages.She had an "Interesting" accent, the ones you can only find in Kenya( ask Eric omondi). In her own words, "Mimi nlikuwa dani ya churchi vile tulisikia dege. Tulikuwa tumesoea kila sunday ngege ingine ilikuwanga ikikuja, lakini leo tuli skisa na tukajua haikuwa hiyo. hiyo dege ilienda hii sydi, ikasimama ikaeda hii ingine na ikarudi tean. Alafu Ikaaza kutoa moshi. Sii tulishtuliwo na kishangao. Na vile tulikuwa tumesoea hiyo dege ingine ikikujanga kila sunday..." and many other subplots. Funny enough, at no point In her story did she mention the plane crashing...
- Mr Weapons expert.. I was shocked at his words. Cos he seemed to be either a Rambo movie fanatic or a terrorist. Excerpts, "Vile hiyo dege ililipuka tukaanza kusikia ma risasi. Tukakimbia na tuka anza kuzichukua na kuziweka kwa mfuko. Niliwesa kuchukua Bullets 80. Hiyo dege ilikuwa imechomeka sana, hatukuwesa kukaribia sana. Na bado risasi silikuwa sikiruka. Aina ya berretta 38. Ile yenye inakuwanga automatic. Ina tupanga risasi 30 per minute. Sikiogopa. Kwa sababu watu wegine wangekuja na waanze kuziiba na wauzie al shabaab. Afadhali hivyo nilichukua. Apana siwezi uza, Niliwapea polisi wa AP post iliyokuwa karibu. mimi nilikuwa polisi mwala wa 1990 nika staafu... " Thank God he was a cop. Otherwise he could have been hunted to death by Kenya police(and probably escaped)
Apologies to readers who dont understant swahili that well. I have a small section(not that small), for your enjoyment...
Did you know? If you search for 241543903 in Google images, you will find a lot of pictures of people putting their heads in refrigerators.How school works:
In class: 2+2=4.
Homework: 2+4+2=8.
Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate
the Sun's mass.
A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed.
The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't! Ha ha
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Men don't Understand women. How could we, when we barely have any emotional baggage while theirs is... Just look at the pic and read the dictionary. The one below, of course
Female language dictionary
1. Yes = No2. No = No
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = And you'll pay dearly
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
It amazing being a guy. I have lots of private reasons, and here are some of them...
Why its great to be a guy.
- The 3 P's. No pregnancy, Pads or periods.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You can be president.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- At some point, guys will be fewer than girls
- Same work... more pay.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- Movie nudity is virtually always female.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- One mood, all the time.
- Someday you'll be a dirty old man
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
Q: Why are hurricanes named after women?
A: Because when they come, they're
wild and wet, and when they go they take your house and car with them.
Your blessedly,
Dean.
